TRYING SO HARD: do the right thing
I found a student ID on the street and spent some time figuring out how to track down its owner. Posted on neighborhood message boards, tracked down a friend who was a professor at the school. Finally, I found them! They were excited and grateful. We texted back and forth, left it outside for them. Days passed. We texted again. And again. But this time, they never responded. They never came. Now I’m left wondering what happened? Should I have just left the ID on the street? Because now I feel like an idiot who is not only being ghosted by a stranger, but is stuck with their random ID in my home.
It feels wrong to throw it out, because then it could’ve just been left on the street and all our efforts would’ve been for nothing… which, ultimately, they were. Or do I dive in further to see if the ID owner is okay? To find out WHY they aren’t responding?
That certainly doesn’t feel like my responsibility.
I’m learning lately that a lot of people don’t actually want to be helped, even when they need it. But they also don’t want to ask for help. Does that mean I stop trying and offering? That doesn’t feel like the right thing to do, either.
It’s been a tough few weeks. I wrote about it a little on my blog but in general, I’m dealing with some heavy stuff and I’m getting tired of trying to find the meaning in everything.
Like a student ID.
If you go to my letterboxd, you’ll see I’ve been watching a lot of movies lately — there are a few terrible ones. But they were so comforting because they weren’t trying to be good.
I did a Q&A with Michelle Krusiec for a special Valentine’s Day screening of “Saving Face” at American Cinematheque. I feel so lucky to be a part of that legacy.
I’ve got a few slots open for acting coaching/filmmaking and social media consulting. You can find out more and book me here.
New podcast episode of The Actor’s Diet! We talk about our feelings re: cooking and I think you will be shocked — because honestly, I shocked myself!
I was also a guest on someone else’s podcast — actually, the very first guest on the newly launched “2 Writers Talking Shit” with Melanie Maras and Saeed Crumpler. I shared a bit about rejection and artistry, which has been such a theme this last year.
Melanie was also a guest on The Yellow Pages, as was Rachel Nguyen. And the latest issue is all about my short film “Stage Kids” (see below).
“Stage Kids” will have its World Premiere at the DisOrient Film Festival on March 12th in Oregon and on March 13th, you can also stream it online. Then, the Los Angeles premiere will be on March 22nd at The Nomadic International Film Festival. Tickets available here (I’ll be there with the cast, and will also be speaking on their Director’s Panel). Below is the trailer!
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“I’m learning lately that a lot of people don’t actually want to be helped, even when they need it. But they also don’t want to ask for help. Does that mean I stop trying and offering? That doesn’t feel like the right thing to do, either.”
I know you said you’re tired of trying to find the meaning in everything...but this question felt so meaningful to read, and ask 💛 Thank you as always for sharing your heart with us.